Candy #1 - Snickers
Introduced in the 1930s by Mars, Incorporated. Snickers consisting of nougat, topped in peanuts, caramel and covered in chocolate. One of the most popular candies out there. Very common in trick-or-treat bags. Taking the first bite into the chocolate bar felt nice. However as I chewed into the piece I bit, the caramel started getting stuck all over my teeth.. Not the biggest fan of caramel so a point will be deducted. Really that's the only major problem with the chocolate. The nougat and peanuts were good. Fuck the caramel. I hate you, caramel. Oh and also I don't like how it feels when you chew so uhhh.... minus half a point. 3.5/5
Candy #2 - Twix
Left Twix or Right Twix? Well I got a left twix right here so if you've chosen right. I'm taking one point away from you. First produced in the United Kingdom in 1967 and introduced to the States in 1979. A biscuit topped with caramel(gross) and like snickers, covered entirely in milk chocolate. Alright, lemme eat this thing now. brb opening the wrapper. Okay it's open now lemme eat it. Okay now this is much better than snickers. The caramel is still a problem as it is gets stuck in my teeth but because Twix is so much better... minus half a point. The biscuit is much better then the nougat. 4.5/5
Candy #3 - 3 Musketeers
I'm getting lazy to look up the history of candy so lemme guess what exactly the 3 Musketeers is... 3 Musketeers. Lemme just bite into it and think what's in it and give me thoughts on it. *chews* oooooooo it feels soft. I like it. It still has caramel(gross) but it's not as bad as the previous two. The center feels very nice and soft like you're eating a marshmallow. Maybe that's one of the ingredients? idk? It tastes good but because it's not my favorite i'm taking half a point off. 4/5
Candy #4 - Nerds
Okay enough chocolate talk, let's eat something else. I remember this candy being common and popular back in the mid to late 2000s but I rarely see it nowadays. Nerds freaking suck, I want to squish those cartoon-y things on the box. Not eat it, squish it. I hate the aftertaste and I hate chewing on candy rocks. Get these away from me please. Also why doesn't my box of nerds have the wonka logo on it? 1.5/5
Time to go to the dentist!
Now lets ruin those teeth by eating more candy!
Candy #5 - Everlasting GobstopperHard candy sucks. These gobstoppers taste like nothing. Well.. they do once you break your teeth to open it but it tastes terrible. Fuck hard candy and Nerds. I'd rather eat caramel then those two. 0/5
Candy #6 - Crunch
Crunch is the greatest chocolate candy of all time. Not hard as a gobstopper and not filled with caramel like snickers. It's the best. The crisp rice is what creates the crunch and with the addition of chocolate just makes me as hard as a gobstopper. I would deduct points for crunch making me a gobstopper but since it's the greatest chocolate candy of all time. I won't. In all seriousness, it's really a great candy bar and those Buncha Crunch candies you see at movie theaters are just.... WOW. 6/5
Candy #7 - Starbursts
My father loves starbursts so I like it too. It's apparently unexplainably juicy but my theory is that it's the candy soaking in my saliva. Which is both gross and interesting. The candy feels hard to chew and you know how I feel about hard candy. Okay it's not as hard as those stupid Gobstoppers but points will be removed for that. The juicy parts of the starbursts taste great but what the hell? After chewing on it for a bit, my breath just tastes weird and I don't like it. 3.5/5
Candy #8 - Butterfingers
Don't you dare lay a finger on Bart's Butterfinger. As a kid, I really admired this chocolate candy but recently I've grown to dislike it more. Well tbh I'm just mixed on it. I like it but I also really dislike it. As a kid I always liked scraping the chocolate layer off the crunchy peanut butter core of the bar. The chocolate tastes great but I can't say the same for the peanut butter. Biting into it, I can just feel the corn syrup, sugar, and caramel just filling my tooth. Ugh! Plus it makes a huge mess which really blows. Go ahead Bart. Take my butterfinger. I don't want it. 2.5/5
Well. I hope you enjoyed this review. I hate caramel and I love crunch. Bye
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